In the Game of College Admissions, Perfection is Not the Goal

In a world where college admissions can seem like an unforgiving gauntlet of perfect GPAs, sky-high test scores, and endless lists of extracurricular activities, it's easy to wonder: Will my imperfect child be able to go to college?

The answer is a resounding YES!

The Myth of the Perfect Applicant

First, let’s remind ourselves that there are no perfect applicants! Every teenager is just trying to figure out life. This is a messy process that includes a lot of mistakes, imperfections, and failures. Even those kids whose college applications have a slew of impressive statistics and accomplishments are imperfect in many ways that you may not see. And that’s ok because imperfection means authenticity. And authenticity is highly valued in the college application process! More on that in a bit.

Many parents believe that their child must fit a narrow mold of perfection to be accepted into college. They worry that anything less than a flawless academic record, an exhaustive list of activities, and a trophy case of achievements will result in rejection letters. However, the truth is that there are thousands of colleges with a variety of admission criteria who are looking for real students - not just polished resumes. 

What’s more, these seemingly “perfect” resumes are a dime a dozen in the highly selective college admissions world. Perfect scores, GPAs in excess of 4.0, and all the best activities are not enough to grant you a ticket in the door. Thousands of these students are currently being rejected by colleges, while other students whose resume’s may look slightly flawed (read “more real”) are receiving offers. Why? Because even the most highly selective schools are seeking real students - not just polished resumes.

The Power of Authenticity

Rather than pressuring your child to check every conventional “college-ready” box, consider this: Admissions officers are increasingly looking for students who bring something unique to the table. They value authenticity over perfection. They appreciate students who spend their time pursuing things they are genuinely interested in and passionate about rather than those who robotically move from one activity to the next because they think “they should.” Instead of crafting a meticulously engineered application, encourage your child to:

• Pursue their genuine interests. Whether it’s caring for animals, performing musical theater, volunteering as a tutor, learning carpentry skills, or mastering new skateboarding tricks, passion is far more compelling than a long list of forced activities. Students should explore various opportunities and interests and figure out what sparks their curiosity and fosters joy. When they discover a subject or activity they really enjoy, they should pursue it with vigor and depth, learn as much as they can about it, and use it as an opportunity to grow. Demonstrating deep interest and engagement in a few pursuits is far more meaningful than simply racking up a long list of activities.

  
  

• Engage meaningfully in their school pursuits. Rather than taking the classes they think colleges want to see, students should take opportunities to learn and study things they really enjoy. While they must ensure they’re meeting admissions criteria for schools they’re interested in, they should also use their course selections as an opportunity to demonstrate their strengths and interests. If a student is miserable in their world language class but absolutely loves science, they should consider taking an additional science course rather than slogging through a 4th year of language. Similarly, joining every club for the sake of padding their resume will not impress application readers. Instead, a deep commitment and meaningful leadership experience in one or two on-campus organizations can speak volumes.

  
  

• Work hard and develop perseverance. Colleges seek students who know how to overcome obstacles. They understand that perfection is not the goal and are looking for students who have faced challenges, lived through messiness, learned from failures, and demonstrated resilience. Students who cautiously navigate high school in pursuit of (the appearance of) perfection may rob themselves of the experiences and challenges that could really help them grow. Resilience is not just about bouncing back from failure – it’s about learning how to navigate setbacks, develop problem-solving skills, and push forward despite uncertainty. Encouraging your child to embrace challenges rather than avoid them will not only prepare them for college but for life beyond the classroom.

What Colleges Really Want

At the end of the day, colleges aren’t just admitting test scores and transcripts; they are admitting people. They seek to enrich their school communities by welcoming unique and interesting students. Students who understand themselves, who have worked through challenges, and who have pursued meaningful experiences bring depth to a college community.

Colleges also recognize that success isn’t measured solely in numbers. After all, many of their applicants will look the same if they are simply looking at numbers. This is why so many institutions consider holistic admissions criteria, including essays, recommendation letters, and demonstrated interest in learning. They also recognize that students who have already faced challenges and worked through obstacles are better equipped to handle the transition to a more independent life and rigorous academic experience in college.

The Bottom Line

Neither you nor your child should be striving for perfection. It’s unattainable, unhealthy, and is not the answer to getting into college. Instead, they need to be themselves—curious, hardworking, and committed to continuous growth and learning. When they embrace what truly excites them, colleges will take notice. So, encourage your child to focus on what makes them unique, not just what makes them look good on paper. The right opportunities will follow.

Thrive Can Help!

Would you like support as you and your child navigate high school and prepare for college admissions? Would you prefer to spend time fostering a lasting relationship with your teen rather than nagging them about college essays and admissions deadlines? Thrive can help! Please reach out today to discover how our parent and adolescent coaching services and admissions consulting can enhance your quality of life, help you find balance as a parent, support your teen through this phase of life, and ensure that parents and their teens Thrive! Book online, email jenell@thriveconsultandcoach.com, or call 206-372-2135.